By sharing when some get it wrong, my hope is to save you headaches, time and let's add sanity.
Please don't misunderstand me. I am not a perfectionist. I'm a recovering perfectionist instead. It's a long journey. But you need to understand that Mom's do not need to be nor act perfect.
Making mistakes is how we learn. This is how our children will learn along the way too. This is our chance to show them how it's really done. Whether we like it or not they do model our behaviour.
First off, let me ask you, have you made a mistake? I hope you have. In case you're too tired and your brain feels too foggy to respond, the answer is "Yes. Yes I have." 🙋
I have made mistakes. You surely have made some mistakes. We all have! We are moms and we are human beings too.
As far as my own mistakes as a mother, and as a human, they are vast and rich with lessons and learnings. In fact, it is largely these mistakes that drive me to reach mom's like you in order to prevent the hassle or pains myself and my family experienced on my journey in motherhood. It has motivated me to create a program for moms that is sure to improve their experience in the now and their whole lives' through.
Let's cover a common belief that turns out to be a mistake. I hear from Mom's sometimes in our neighbourhood and sometimes elsewhere in the world. Moms are in this together. Let's keep supporting each other.
"Keeping my baby up during the day will mean we get more sleep at night!"
This is not the case. I mean I see why somebody would try that out of desperation and despair and I've been there.
Here's what you need to know:
babies need so many hours of sleep in a 24-hour period. Ideally it's around 16 to 18 hours. Therefore, you can see there has to be daytime sleep too to get anywhere near that many hours of sleep.
babies need to sleep both day and night. They also need to feed day and night. In fact newborns are wired to be lighter sleepers so that they wake more often to feed while they're growing and developing so much.
when babies are well slept it actually makes it easier for them to go to sleep and stay asleep. An overtired baby will have more trouble getting to sleep. The benefits of sleeping for babies are endless, and include physical growth and brain development.
So there is no need to try to keep them up during the daytime. 🌤 In actuality the opposite is true. Do what you can to get them to sleep. Many times, feeding to sleep will be the favourite go-to. What is yours?
You do not need to worry about any bad habits forming. Newborns do not even have the capacity to form a habit yet.
I know from experience how it feels in that first while often. especially. It can be such a long go! I'm here to tell you it doesn't last forever. However, by this statement I do not mean it'll end someday when they hit preschool or kindergarten or puberty or prom or grad or their first job. Sure, it might, but is that really the best quality of life if nobody's getting enough quality sleep?
I joke about the timeline on waiting for them to just go to sleep on their own but it really isn't funny; not funny at all. I've seen far too many parents come to me years later when it all could have been wrapped up pretty much in the beginning. Imagine preventing a year and a half of extra sleepless nights or how about 4 years?!
I'm talking within months, just months, maybe not even half a year is when they can learn independent sleep. Support with knowledge and experience are necessary to guide you through smoothly.
What has it been like for you so far? There's no shame in finding this to be a hard time you're going through. Many moms I talk with find it to be a very isolating time too, besides the lack of sleep and almost everything in your life feeling completely different than it had been before. Please go easy on yourself.
Let's get back to what I said. You know, the good part about how this amount of lack of sleep doesn't last forever.
In fact this lack of sleep may not need to go on further than the fourth month after your due date. I bet you've been through challenging things in your life that lasted longer than a few months. Yeah? Then you can do this too!
You may be skeptical. I'm sure I would have been, had someone tried to offer me comfort. Like I said, it feels like a long time when you're in it and I don't need to tell you that.
What can you do while you are trying to make it through this time of those 1st few months to ease the anxiety, agitation, impatience or just downright exhaustion you may be feeling??
Reach out for support. It can alleviate so much when you've got somebody to talk to and you know someone's looking out for you too.
Where else can you turn for support? Let's get some ideas down right in front of your weary eyes, so that you can check out what might apply to you and where you might want to start. Perhaps a go to is someone who feels the easiest to reach out to at this time. Consider asking the one who best fits what you specially need right now.
If you have no idea what you need right now that's okay. Just Reach Out. Reach out to one of them. Others don't know what we could use or that we are struggling sometimes unless we ask for what we need.
Here goes:
healthcare provider
alternative health care provider
counsellor
spiritual leader
psychiatrist
family
friend
child friend's mom's group
sleep consultant
virtual sleep community
In this blog, I've explained that babies do not need to be kept awake during the day to sleep more at night. In fact it can have the opposite effect of what you were hoping for. Overtired babies struggle to go to sleep. Newborns need so much of their sleep in both the daytime and the nighttime. Whatever you find you can do to soothe them to sleep you do not need to be concerned of any bad habits. You cannot affect what you may consider good habits to form yet even.
"Just do whatchu gotta do whatchu gotta to do to get by."
Stay tuned for more on crucial baby and mom topics to come. You won't want to miss. Let's make life easier together.
Be good to you.
Let a community support you when you can. www,SleepandBeyondConsulting.com/
Our Sound Sleepers program surrounds you with soothing support while you learn and decide what you can do to make your babies transition to Independent sleep as easy as possible. We prepare to set things up in a way that works for you, your baby and your family.
If you're a mom who's waking day and night to care for your baby and have more questions or could use some support, feel free to reach out anytime. Tap here to connect with me. www.SleepandBeyondConsulting.com There, just touch the "Let's connect" button.
Be good to yourself.
See the many ways we support moms and babies, including our signature program for 3M+ (12 weeks). It's the Sound Sleepers Program.
Hear from another Mom:
"It's no exaggeration to say our experience with Heather has been totally life-changing. It would have been worth 10x the cost and we only wish we had done it sooner."
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